Day 5

Hey!
So, I am now on bed rest. BLECK. I am still going to try and exercise tomorrow morning. Not sure why, but I am determined. I am tired of being known as "the funny one" or "the quirky girl". I want a guy to look me in the eyes and tell me that I am beautiful and for me to actually believe it this time. I have had a really rough time with my weight. Not just losing it, but dealing with it to the point of I was counting every calorie I was eating and it developed into anorexia. Now, I wasn't hospitalized or anything because I have wonderful friends who pushed me to get help.. but, to this day, I am struggling with it every day. My weight fluctuates so much and I just want it to finally stay in one place. I was in a terrible place for 2 1/2 years and I have come so far along since then. I don't ever want to go back to that place. ever. It wasn't worth it nor was it fair to my body. I will be strong. I will be fit. I will love myself. I still have a long way to go, but I know that in the end... I will never look back because I won't need to. For those who are scared that they won't ever change or that they are stuck because they are so overweight or have gotten too far into an eating disorder, stop it. everyone, and I mean everyone has the ability to achieve their goals and to finally fully love themselves. You are not alone, and you shouldn't ever think that you are. Don't compare yourself to others. Everyone is different. If you focus on yourself and yourself alone, you will succeed. Confide in others because they may be able to finally push you to finally change your life, once and for all.

Natalie