One year older, another year wiser...right?

Well, I am officially 19 :) The gang and I went to go bowling... which was fun. but the best part was when I thought that Eric had my keys... so I jumped out of the Euro van and ran to his car, as he is driving away, and jumped onto the hood of the car. It was really epic. But honestly, it's not as fun as they depict. It was actually  seriously terrifying. agh. but I get to cross that off of my bucket list! Other than that, I worked on my birthday. Which is fine because my kids sang happy birthday to me and of course... I melted. it was the CUTEST thing I have ever heard. It also made me randomly really  miss my brother. Ben Chase. He is has been on a mission for 1 year and 4 months. It has gone by SO fast. Lately, the time is slowly ticking by. I miss my best friend. I am super happy that he is out serving the Lord and doing what is right... but both him AND my best friend Patrick are on their missions. I can not wait until they are both home :) It shall be legen--wait for iiiitttt....DARY.

This birthday, I actually did feel older... which is weird. I felt like I was finally growing up and becoming mature. Aaaaand then I went and had a sword fight with my Storm Trooper mask on with my sister. The maturing is a work in progress ;) But the more I grow up, the more I start to think about my future. I mean, yeah, when we were all little we wanted to be doctors and firefighters and teachers.... but I always seemed to have a plan. which is odd because those who know me know that I rarely ever plan anything. Now that I am in college and I am actually putting this plan to action, reality kicked in. I have come to terms that things aren't going to go as I had planned and it frustrates me beyond reason. I mean, I have my WHOLE LIFE set. Get my bachelor's in Neuroscience, go to the University of Pennsylvania and get my PhD, and then move to Chicago to fulfill my dreams of performing research and being in the Chicago symphony and then after a couple of years settle down and have a big family. big dreams. I tend to think "Go big or go home." But I have met some people and thought some thoughts that have completely changed my view on things. I was so OBLIVIOUS. Why would I think that I could just waltz along life and do everything that I had planned? God doesn't work that way. He has His own plan for me and I need to do what He asks of me. I am so stubborn and ridiculous. I guess it's the Irish/Scottish in me ;) Heavenly Father knows exactly what is best for me. He knows me better than I know myself. His eternal plan of happiness is what I need to focus on.

 I am still having issues letting Him take the driver's seat... but no matter what thoughts pop into my head or what people come into my life, I always think "remember your plan..." and I push them aside. But Heavenly Father never stops trying... which is great because this could take awhile..